Why Does God's Law Require Adulterers to Separate?

It does happen. The couple are in their thirties and very happily married. They have two young children. Both the husband and wife are eager new Christians, delighted in serving the Lord. A chance comment in Bible class, or a lesson on marriage, divorce and remarriage (MDVR) or even their own study of Matthew 19 sets them to thinking. They call the preacher or elders. ""We're concerned that we don't have a right to marry - I was married for a couple of years about ten years ago. I left my wife because we just couldn't get along, not for fornication. I think we're living in adultery!""

It is a scene that tears our hearts out. Because they are faithful to the word of God and recognize they are living in sin they end their marriage and live separately. It is incredibly difficult on them, and on their children. We look upon their suffering and wonder ""Why is God's law so stringent in the demands of repentance?""

Before attempting some answers to this question we need to recognize that we must obey God's law even when we do not understand or agree with it (see Luke 5:5). Repentance necessitates stopping sin (Matt. 3:8; 12:41; Eph. 4:22). No exception is made for this kind of sin or that sin. If we are in sin we must stop. Further, God really does require separation in unlawful marriages (see Ezra 10). Whether we ever agree or understand this so it is and so we must do. Our obedience is predicated upon faith, not sight (or human understanding). Having said that I would like to make a few observations that may explain, in some way, why God has set things in marriage as they are.

First, painful MDVR situations occur because God has no commitment to protect sin. Let me illustrate what I mean by this. Often abortionists argue that if abortion is made illegal women will have ""back alley abortions,"" which would be dangerous to their health. This argument fails because abortion is murder. Society should not be interested in making murder safer, easier or more convenient! Murdering unborn babies ought to be dangerous and difficult! The same holds true with the sin of unscriptural divorce. God isn't interested in making divorce enjoyable or pleasurable. That would violate His very nature. Thus His laws will speak against it and those who fail that law will bring hurt to themselves (see Psalm 37:14-15). Consider: how would God simultaneously legislate against divorce while at the same time providing good things and blessings for those who engage in sinful divorces?

Second, without a proper understanding of repentance in adulterous marriages there would be no scriptural authority to cause a spouse to return to his/her first mate. Again, let me explain what I mean. When we think of painful MDVR situations the scenario described above immediately leaps into our minds. This is not, however, the only MDVR situation ever faced. What of a man who leaves his wife for his secretary? Here is the devastated wife, in tears, facing life as a single mom, trying to raise her children alone. The husband, and his new wife, appear Sunday morning and come down the aisle. He announces he intends to ""repent,"" but by that he means repent of the sin of covenant breaking or one-time adultery or some other erroneous definition of adultery. He does this pseudo-repentance routine, his new wife announces her intention to be baptized and ""wash away her previous marriages"" (also per the false doctrine of some on MDVR). Where does that leave the local church? According to some this fellow and his new wife are now right with God and must be accepted by the church in full fellowship! Yet it is obvious to all that this man has done wrong, sinning grievously against God and his wife. What can the elders say to his first wife? Here she is, ready to work on the marriage and begin the process of reconciliation and rebuilding. She wants her husband back! Yet if repentance does not demand separation then he can stay with his new wife and scripturally refuse to reconcile with his first mate! This is the only logical conclusion of accepting false doctrine on MDVR: there is no passage that the elders could point to that would require him to return to his first wife and do what is so obviously right. God's law of MDVR stops this nonsense. It insures that if this fellow wants to go to heaven he will have to break off this new (adulterous) relationship and return to his first wife (see 1 Cor. 7:10-11). Nothing else will do.

Incidentally, when advocates of error and false doctrine on MDVR run out their sob stories we do well to remember this other kind of story. We get locked up in our thinking when we are confronted with stories of a mate who cannot or does not want to return their rightful spouse. What of these cases of miserable sin where a mate should be made (by the scriptures, of course) to return and do right? We can tell our own sob stories to these false teachers, can't we? A tale of a waiting mate and a philandering husband who leaves her behind and according to much false doctrine here cannot be made by God's word to return. Who can believe it? All of this is to say that if we decide couples don't have to separate when unlawfully married then we will not be able to make anyone separate who unlawfully married, even the louse of a husband described above. God's law does make sense after all, doesn't it?

Finally, God's marriage law serves an object lesson to all of us. We look upon the hurt and heartbreak of a couple that must separate to be right with God and see the destructiveness and pain that sin causes. We do well to note that God is not at fault for the problem. The responsibility lies squarely on those who refuse to seek God and His Word so as to know His will and obey it. When people don't do that they can expect to foul their lives up substantially. Some destroy their bodies with drugs. Others get AIDS. Some simply live with a ruined life, having to constantly say ""What if"" as they review poor decisions that wrecked opportunities to have a much more meaningful life. We need to see these lessons lived out before us and learn from them. We need to be speaking about these matters to our children. ""Do you see brother Doe? He must live alone, and cannot ever marry again because he divorced a mate for unscriptural cause. That is what sin does to your life."" I think of Achan being stoned by all Israel. Joshua 7:25 tells the reader that Israel raised a great heap of stones over Achan that ""is there to this day."" Do you think children did not reflect purposefully on the evils of stealing from the Lord when their parents told of Achan's sin at Jericho and they saw the stones that he died under? Let the lives of those who have experienced the pain of failing God's law on MDVR be a heap of stones to us and our children that we might not repeat others' tragic mistakes.

God's law on marriage, divorce and remarriage does indeed cause turbulence and turmoil in sinners' lives. Such does not occur capriciously or because He is just out to ""get"" adulterers. His Law reflects His perfect character and wisdom that exceeds our understanding. Let us learn to conform ourselves to the Law of God and appreciate how it guides and protects us from sin. ""The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes"" (Psalm 19:8).