The Preacher's Pen

I have some good friends who aren't married, and I must tell you I'm concerned about that. My concern is not founded in a belief that a Christian must be married to please God. No, I'm just anxious that folks don't miss out on the great joy of being married.

As I talk with some of my single friends about this I detect an almost unspoken fear in their lives. So much has been made of the work it takes to have a good marriage, and so much has been said of all that wrecks marriages today that an impression may be given that it just about takes Superman and Superwoman to have a happy marriage today.

That's just not true. I'm not Superman by any means (although Dena is pretty super!) and I've been married very happily for more than fifteen years. I can't help but wonder what people from countries where arranged marriages are still done think of America's fascination with "waiting till you find the exact right one." In those countries you may not even meet your mate until the day of the marriage. Yet they are able to go forth from there to carve out a happy life together. Kind of boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Marriage isn't, despite all the pages we just devoted to it, rocket science. My dad always said "I was looking for the perfect woman but she wouldn't have me because she was looking for the perfect man." You aren't perfect. Neither is anyone else. Take your flaws and failings, bundle them up in a character that wants to do what is right and obey God (even though you don't always do that) and find someone with the same desire. Junk your thoughts of beauty or physical attraction and look for inner-strength and courage. Vow to make it work. Then do it. I don't mean to make light of the need to choose carefully or be thoughtful in this process. But I certainly mean to say that marriage is fantastic, and it is possible for you to know its joys without getting your Ph.D. in psychology or marriage counseling! Stop being afraid. What God has made for you is wonderful and beautiful. Don't let your fears keep you enjoying this priceless blessing.