God's Newlyweds

When you get married, you really don't know what to expect. How could you? You've never been there before. When I was younger and thought of marriage, I always saw myself as this together person who knew exactly what he was doing. I don't know when I expected this metamorphosis to occur, I just assumed it would. Almost three years ago I found myself at my destination only to realize that I was still me! The attributes that make a marriage work the way God intended don't magically appear, they have to be sought after and practiced just like any other aspect of godliness. Here are a few suggestions for starting your marriage out on the right path.

Accept God-given responsibilities early:

Assuming these responsibilities means husbands must learn to lead. Leading should be looked upon as an honor. Consider what being head of the house means. In Ephesians 5:23 we are told that "the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church." The example God gives of leadership is that of the ultimate servant, a servant who was willing to leave Heaven to sacrifice Himself for us. Being the leader of the house means the husband must be willing to serve, and always put his wife above himself.

For wives, being in subjection becomes a more pressing challenge with each day. Today, it certainly is not in fashion to practice Biblical subjection (Ephesians 5:22), largely because the world views subjection as indicating inferiority. That is not the Bible's perspective. 1 Peter 3:7 says the wife is "a fellow heir of the grace of life." Just because the woman is in subjection doesn't make her any less important. She has a different role, not a less important one.

As newlyweds it may seem strange to realize you are now in this all- important relationship. Getting married is like so many really important events in life. You're changed forever, but you're still the same person. You soon come to understand that things have changed and will always be different. Assuming your God-given roles and responsibilities will help make the rest of your marriage as wonderful as the beginning.

Plan ahead:

Having a home modeled after the plan set forth in the Bible is becoming an increasingly challenging proposition. Creating that kind of home environment isn't going to happen by accident. A plan is needed. No plan is fool-proof, and just because you have one doesn't mean your life will follow it, but your chances of reaching your destination with a map are a lot better than getting there without one.

For example, many Christian mothers want to stay home with their children and be "worker[s] at home" (Titus 2:5). Unfortunately, they aren't able to because their family needs the income from two full-time jobs. If you feel that this is important, then you should decide early on in your marriage that you need to learn to live on one income. The time to make this decision is before you take out that mortgage that requires both incomes, not after. This is not to say that everyone who needs two incomes to get by could have planned it better. We can't control all the twists and turns life is going to take. However, when it comes to cataloging the "necessities" of life, it might not hurt to examine what is really necessary. Jesus said, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Luke 12:34) Prioritizing our lives will help us to keep the important things where they belong. Planning ahead helps us to replace the seemingly urgent with the truly important, and the temporal with the eternal.

Make time for each other:

This may sound strange in an article addressed to newlyweds, but believe it or not, there will come a time when being a newlywed won't seem quite so new. For all our time-saving miracle machines, it seems like there is never enough time to accomplish all the things we have to do. The things we want to do get muscled aside by the things we need to do. This happens in the home, too, even with newlyweds. We mean to make more time for each other, but the "squeaky wheel gets the grease."

In Song of Solomon 5:2-4 the idea is clear that the newness of marriage does indeed wear off. It is also clear that love does not decrease just because it's not new anymore. In fact, you may find that you begin to understand love much more clearly and deeply as you grow in your relationship with one another. It's ironic that as our love grows it becomes easier not to say and do the things necessary to communicate our feelings for one another.

It's important that we always make time to let our spouse know the important place they have in our lives. As time goes by, things will change, kids will come, more and more demands will be placed on our time. Establishing time for each other early on will be much easier than when there are even more things demanding attention.

Ultimately, the most powerful thing that any new or not so new couple can do is allow God's Word to guide their relationship just as every other aspect of their lives.