How To Teach Your Father The Truth

[Note: my brother-in-law is Ed Good, a fine Gospel preacher who works with the church in Seminole, Texas. He and I talked at length about the difficulty of a grown child teaching his parents the gospel. Ed emailed me the thoughts that make up the article below. I had expected to work with them, add some of my own and make an article out of it. After reading Ed's thoughts I decided they spoke powerfully to this matter and stood on their own. They may be a bit "rough" as Ed didn't send them for publication but I believe you will be benefitted by them. MR]

What a difficult thing it can be to teach your father or mother the truth of the gospel! There are so many Christians whose heart's desire and prayer to God is for their father or mother. They either are praying that mom and dad will become Christians or will leave an apostate church to be a part of pure New Testament Christianity. I sincerely hope I can say a few things that would help some teach their father the truth.

We all need the truth because of what it can make us. Jesus said "the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32). There might be some who say that their own father is exempt from teaching because they love him too much to tell him he is condemned because of sin. Don't be controlled by your emotions. Your father needs the truth to be free from sin just like anyone else. It takes a bushel of honesty to say that your father is in the wrong. The daughters of Zelophehad had this courage. They said that their father had died in his own sin (Num. 27:3-4).

It is probably harder to teach our own kin the truth than anyone else. I reckon it is harder because our dads have been used to doing the teaching, not being taught. Our fathers have been in that position for so long, it is hard for them to become students again. There are so many things that children begin to do and the father has already "been there and done that" and knows all about it. He has always been in the teaching position with regard to his children and he may sometimes get the false idea that his children can't teach him anything. Surely Moses must have had an influence on his father-in-law in changing him from believing in idols to belief in the one true God (see Exodus 18:8-12).

We must remember that some fathers will accept truth and others simply will not. Some of Lot's relatives (his wife and two daughters) got out of the city and were saved, while others (his son-in-laws) did not and were lost. Rahab was able to save her father and kin. Rahab had faith that caused her kin to listen to her to stay inside the quarters of her house (Joshua 6:23). The sons of Jacob convinced their father to believe a lie (that Joseph was dead) and later had to convince him of the truth that Joseph was alive. David never convinced his father-in-law, Saul, to stop being revengeful even though he set the right example. Jonathan failed to convinced the same man, his father Saul, to stop trying to kill David (1 Sam. 19:4-11; 20:30-33).

Perhaps I should mention some "don'ts." Don't expect an angel to come down to talk to your father, like an angel did Zacharias (Luke 1). Don't expect someone to be raised from the dead to come back and preach to your father (Luke 16). And don't expect God to talk to your father through a donkey as in Numbers 22!

What are some specific ways to teach your father the truth? First, use good reasoning (Isaiah 1:19). It was the servant who reasoned with his master Naman to go ahead and dip in the river Jordan (2 Kings 5:13). His clear logic made it impossible for Naman to do anything else.

Second, remember to honor your father in all that you do. " Honor your father and mother,' which is the first commandment with promise" (Ephesians 6:2). Do not curse your father (Proverbs 30:11). Instead, speak wisely. "Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Col. 4:5-6). 1 Timothy 5:1 contains an important principle along this line. While it may be speaking to those in the faith, the principle still applies: "rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father." Paul says there is a certain way that we are to treat a father. It would be with the utmost respect, would it not?

Third, it might be that your father will not listen nor reason with you. If that happens, don't forget what 1 Peter 3 says. 1 Peter 3:1-7 has a principle that may be applied to teaching your father. It discusses the ability to live a godly life and so by being a good example win someone to Jesus without a word. You may be able to do this with your father.

Fourth, if your father won't listen to you perhaps you should try indirect methods of teaching. You could put him on a mailing list for a bulletin, hand him sermons that are on cassette tape, send tracts to him, give him a correspondence course or even send someone else to teach him. He might listen to one of these options when he might never have listened to his son or daughter. I recently taught a lady the truth and she obeyed it. Her daughter and her always argued about the Bible, yet she never got mad at me. I was able to have an influence on her that her daughter did not.

Finally, don't forget to pray.

I hope you teach your father the truth whether it is a direct or indirect way. Where is the humble father with the good and honest heart who will learn even from his own son?